They've shut down — silent, withdrawn

What's likely happening

Your child has gone quiet, still, unreachable. This is the nervous system other response to overwhelm: not explosion but collapse. They may stare blankly, go limp, refuse to speak or move. This is not defiance or manipulation. This is a young nervous system that has flipped into its protective withdrawal mode. Pushing, prompting, or demanding will deepen the shutdown.

What to say

I am right here with you. You do not have to do anything. I have got you.

What to do

1Get physically close. Sit beside them, not across from them.
2No demands, no questions, no prompts. Just quiet presence.
3Offer gentle physical connection if they will accept it: a hand on the back, a quiet hug.
4Breathe slowly and audibly. Your regulated breath cues their nervous system.
5Wait. Speak softly and rarely: "Take all the time you need. I am right here."

What to watch for

Shutdown lifts from the outside in: first the body loosens, then eye contact returns, then words. Do not rush any of these transitions. Moving to words or tasks before the body has settled resets the shutdown.

The bigger picture

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I tried it — how did it go?